Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Return of a favorite

In a little thing that use to be called surfin USA, here are some interesting things you didn't even know existed.

The sport of arm wrestling gets a kick in the testicles and civilization takes one giant leap backwards. The next person to challenge me to arm wrestling, is getting punched in the back of the head.

 Been to Eiffel Tower? Gazed at the majesty of Aurora Borealis in Alaska? Punched a baby kangaroo in Australia? Think you've done it all? Then a trip through gang country sounds like the final frontier for you. Here's a link to check out for planning your next vacation. This tour takes you through various magical locations from county jail to the birth place of the crips gang. You will be asked to sign a release saying the tour is not liable in the event of your death, I feel another disney acquisition  coming on.

Friday, February 26, 2010

My Boner is gone

Today is a sad day, the guy who played boner on growing pains was found dead from an apparent suicide. In a related story, Ben and stinky sullivan are wanted for questioning.

All kidding aside, it was sad the guy suffered from depression and who knows if he was beyond saving. 

Little known facts : His father was Chekov from the original Star Trek TV series and he was the Joker in one of the top five Batman films of all time.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Another weird moment in comics ( earthquake edition)

Tonight's moment comes from one of my favorite characters of all time Batman.


Looking at the archives of his head scratching moments, I came across a story arc called "Cataclysm". This tale reads like the script of a TV movie after a natural disaster with capes and spandex thrown in the mix. 

Our story begins when a large magnitude earthquake his Gotham city, the epicenter being a hop, skip and a jump from Wayne manor. The whole thing crumbles on top of Alfred and batman in the batcave, one can only hope that giant penny is acting as a buttress in the cave. While Batman is trying to get back to Gotham after being washed away by a tidal wave, his associates are all trying to rescue people from various locations. The next seven chapters of this story are spent rescuing survivors and stopping looters, all the while Batman apparently can’t swim back to shore. The only break this story takes is when catwoman tracks down poison ivy and stops her from spreading super manure into the city's water supply. 

 In the end, we find out the earthquake was caused by none other than that infamous and terrifying villain known as Quakemaster, because Egghead or King tut would have been too obvious. So Batman and Nightwing put a stop to this Quakemaster, Gotham city is closed off by the government and re named "New Detroit". This was before George Clooney did telethons for disaster areas. 

In the long run the story served as a jumping point to an arc with more depth known as "NO man's land", which is a must read as batman stories go. That story deals with the people and arkham inmates left in Gotham after the government seals it off.

Oh Batman what other real life problems can you deal with, perhaps slow internet? Or trying to make a return after the 30 day return policy is up?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Movie pick (week of 2-21)

First of all, I'm excited about Kevin Smith's "Cop Out". From all the commercials and previews I've seen, I'm sold on it. Bruce Willis playing a John Mclain character again and Tracy Morgan doing what he does best (overacting black man). I will see this movie but it's not my pick for the week.

That honor goes to " Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths", it releases on DVD February 23. I had the pleasure of attending the preview screening last night in Beverly Hills and I could not be more satisfied with this latest installment in the DC animated library. 

Those that remember the recent Justice League cartoon network series, will be in for a surprise at how different and dark this movie is. It does the what a live action Justice League movie should do, it takes all these classic stand alone characters and puts them, in an over the top action filled story but doesn't ever fall victim to that constraint story wise.

My favorite voice in the movie is, James Woods take on the alternate Batman known as Owlman. He didn't play an over the top villain, instead using a tone that makes you believe Batman could have easily been an awesome villain in DC comics.

If your looking for something to watch during next weeks storm, this is guaranteed to entertain comic and non comic fans alike.

I will have to come up with a ratings system in the future, perhaps 4 out of 5 black ties.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The age of 28

Two hours from turning 28, I'm wondering what others before me have done at this age. Perhaps Einstein won his nobel prize? Maybe this age isn't important at all. As I ponder the possibilities, I came across a few people that didn't make it past this age.

Brandon Lee was 28 when he was killed in an accident filiming James O Barr's " The Crow", I remember I was a child when I turned on the news and heard about the accident. It was also the day after I watched " Showdown in Little Tokyo", where he stared along side Dolph Lundgren. What would we have done without Universal Soldier.

Heath Ledger was also 28 when he passed away during the filiming of Dr. Parnassus. A good performance that was obviously over shadowed by his portrayal of The Joker in " The Dark Knight". 

The Big Bopper the name may sound familiar, I'm a little tired so if you want his synopsis consult your local wikipedia. What I do know is that when he went, he took La Bamba with him.

The lesson to be learned here, 28 is not the age to be. This blogger is going to his bomb shelter and waiting for 29.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Wacky moments in comics (Black Punisher)

This post marks the beginning of a series cataloging the worst and weirdest stories in comics. What better character to use than the young Charelton Heston known as the Punisher. Few writers have managed to illicit the emotional response, a character of this background and moral question warrant.


Perhaps the most odd moment in the characters history came in an early 90's story known as "The Final Days". Essentially, what happens is this: After taking on the Kingpin, the Punisher is caught by the police and sent to prison for… well, for being the Punisher, really. Turns out that killing pretty much everybody he meets over the course of fifty issues is actually illegal. Go figure. One rigged trial later, and Frank’s locked up in Rikers, where he is promptly set upon by a gang of cons led by perennial antagonist Jigsaw, who finally gets his revenge by carving up Frank’s good looks like a Christmas goose.


thanks to some help from a convicted cannibal named Derek Pike, Frank’s able to spring himself from the hoosegow, and once a nine-fingered Microchip gets back from Thailand (long story), he’s able to secure the services of Melinda Brewer, brilliant plastic surgeon turned heroin-addicted prostitute (Yes ladies these were Marvels ideas for female characters). 


I’ll pause here for a second while we all try to figure out that little character arc.

So after dealing with a few of the Kingpin’s henchmen, Frank and “Dr.” Melinda head to a chemical plant upstate where she explains her tragic origin and reveals that her skills actually do go beyond standing on the street corner in a purple mini-dress and cooking up that sweet, sweet horse without setting her entire tenement on fire.

See what they did there? Melanin, for those of you without access to Wikipedia, is the biopolymer primarily responsible for human skin color, which–in the Marvel Universe–also has magical face-mending properties. Thus, once the foreshadowing’s been laid down and Melinda’s forced to tearfully blow away a couple of bounty-happy thugs in the closest thing to an emotional moment you’re going to find in an issue of The Punisher from 1991, she sets down to operating.

Shockingly, despite the fact that she is both going through heroin withdrawl and operating in a filthy abandoned factory (both of which, I’m sure, Dr. OZ would advise against), the procedure goes off without a hitch and Frank gets put back together with one slight change:He is now the Sgt. from Tropic Thunder

Sunday, February 14, 2010

2 days from 28

Since I'll have some free time on my hands and the blogging void has been left open with the absence of a certain powerbridge selling Irish kid, I've decided to fill it. 

Here you will find useful thoughts and the latest Cooks special.

For now here's a list of former TV heart throbs, I once had a crush on:

Obvious winner was Stephanie from Full House
Runners up include Topenga (boy meets world), Winnie Cooper, six (Blossom)

Am I the only one?